Odd Couples

I've always wondered how seemingly goofy, obscure NBA players often land such gorgeous girlfriends. One may use the common excuse of money luring these stunning models into the greasy paws of international ballers such as Rony Seikaly and Marko Jaric, but there must be something more. Let's take a look at some of the odd couples to come out of the NBA world:

1. Rony Seikaly and Elsa Benitez

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Sure Rony had a decent NBA career, but damn, wouldn't you think the former Swimsuit Issue cover girl and international supermodel would shoot higher? Kobe? Jordan? Hell even Toni Kukoc would have been a step up from Rony fuckin Seikaly! Oh well, props to Mr. Seikaly - hell of a job there.

2. Marko Jaric and Adriana Lima

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This duo seems even crazier than the Seikaly/Benitez couple... Adriana Lima - arguably one of the hottest, most famous models out there is marrying.... Marko Jaric?! Have you ever even seen this guy play? (It's not very pretty). I think even US Weekly stayed away from this one, being that nobody on their staff would have any clue who Marko Jaric is. Again though, props to Marko, he is the poster boy for guys all around the world trying to get with chicks way out of their league... good work Marko!

(I'm seeing a theme here, both Jaric and Seikaly are European... maybe it's a Euro thing? You sure don't see the likes of Brian Scalabrine or Wally Sczerbiak landing dimes like these do you?)

3. Andrei and Masha Kirilenko

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Wow am I glad I found that picture of AK47. Hahahaha. Clearly that is not his wife, and it is well known (at least via internet rumors) that Masha lets Kirilenko do whatever he wants when they're apart, but I can't imagine she'd be too thrilled seeing that picture. Kirilenko is one of the strangest looking dudes in the NBA, and that picture is just a testament to that. Nothing more needs to be said. Masha's lookin' fine though.


Ok, that's all for now... more to come later. If you have any more NBA odd couples, send them my way and I'll throw em up here.

Los Lakers Ganar el Campeonato de la NBA

Boooooooooooo!
I've been hearing a lot of Laker praise over here in NYC as of late, a trend I find rather disturbing. Don't you all remember we're not supposed to like LA?! We compete with LA! We know we have better Mexican food than them here in NYC (HAHA!), in fact we know we have pretty much everything better than them here in NYC. So why weren't all you New Yorkers rooting for good ol Florida, the home to 90% of our grandparents and our go-to domestic beach destination, a true tropical paradise on the East Coast! Sure the Knicks have never had much of a rivalry with the Lakers, so I can't use that excuse to justify my dislike for Kobe and LA (I do like Phil Jackson very much though and congratulate him on breaking any record formerly held by a Celtic - the 9 rings of Auerbach in this case)... but our rivalry goes beyond sports - it's a "tale of two cities" to be exact. They get it easy out in LA, with their constant 80 degree weather, scantily clad models roaming down the street and care-free lifestyle. While us New Yorkers slave it out through the four seasons, through the all-go-no-slow NY lifestyle and through our pathetic basketball team with a measly 2 championships compared to LA's 15.

Poor Orlando - they came so close, yet so far. The 4-1 series would seem like a beatdown to any casual viewer, yet us true basketball afficionados know the truth - had Dwight Howard made one more free throw, had Courtney Lee hit that layup, had SVG reduced Jameer Nelson's playing time and not fucked with the chemistry... it would have been a much different series. And I'm not saying the Magic would have won by any means (LA was simply the better team), but it would have been much more interesting. Oh well, maybe next year when Shaq goes to Cleveland, him and Lebron can take down Kobe - you know David Stern already has the blueprint for this matchup drawn up from his super-secret underground lair where he constructs his robot refs and draft fixes (What? You don't believe this exists?! Come onnn).

Well, I guess I can stop my rant now and be happy that at least the Celtics didn't win again. Now that would have REALLY sucked.

Cotto vs. Clottey

For all the boxing fans out there, I hope you got to tune into the Cotto / Clottey fight last night from MSG - quite a spectacle. Really entertaining fight, although I must say I was upset by the result of Cotto retaining his welterweight title. First of all, judge Don Trella scored the fight at 116-111 in favor of Cotto - FAR to wide a margin to score this back and forth bout between two equally matched fighters. Who knows, maybe Trella was getting paid off by the hoardes of Puerto Rican backers in attendance at the Garden. Not to mention, Cotto had some questionable moves during the fight - first off, throwing Clottey to the ground in Round 5 inflicting a knee injury on Clottey (some people have said that Clottey slipped, but go rewatch that and you'll notice Cotto shoving Clottey's back straight toward the mat). Secondly, Cotto landed a serious cheap shot right to the back of Clottey's head, right in front of referree Arthur Mercante nonetheless, yet not getting a penalty for it.

Nobody can deny that this was an extremely entertaining, evenly fought battle... but something tells me that had this fight occurred somewhere other than MSG (Cotto's home turf) on the eve of the Puerto Rican Day Parade, we might have had a fairer decision. With all that being said, we need a rematch! Cotto vs. Clottey #2 - BRING IT ON!

Oh and just for the record, boxing is still better than MMA.

Giants Should Look Into Michelle Obama

I think she'd be a solid linebacker.

Behind Enemy Lines: Confessions of a New York Sports Fan Living in Boston

There are very few things in life that piss me off more than Boston sports fans: I’m not a big fan of Cancer, and I truly loathe mayonnaise, I also have a very low tolerance for Nazis and terrorists. Next on my list come Boston sports fans. You have the pink-hat wearing, college transplant Red Sox “fans” who couldn’t name a player on the roster before their freshman year, the new Celtics fans who were nothing but a bad idea during the “glory years” of Bird, Mchale, Parish and co., and even worse the bandwagon Patriots fans who abandoned their team during the mid to late 1990’s, so much so that there were serious talks of relocating the team to such fine destinations like Orlando.
In order to not sound bitter, I will concede that I do enjoy going to college in Boston, if only for the fact that it’s made me love New York even more. Am I biased? Certainly. Am I elitist? I would say so. Do I care what you think? Not at all… we’re from New York baby, we don’t give a damn what you think because we all know deep down what the best city in the world is, to touch on the old cliché, “so nice they named it twice.”
For my inaugural blog, I will point out a few disparities between Boston and New York, both sports related and otherwise, that will likely sway most readers in the favor of New York:

1. Happy Hour does not exist in Boston. That’s right; try asking for Happy Hour at a Boston bar, they’ll look at you like you’re a mutated George Steinbrenner coming to snatch their Red Sox hats. Cheer up Boston!

2. As much history as there is at Fenway Park... the place is still a dump. Unless you're dropping hundreds of dollars for good seats, you'll be relegated to the bleachers or even worse the "grandstands" - where the wood benches are sticky with beer, there is less leg room than a coach ticket on Delta and if you're unlucky enough to get an "obstructed view" ticket you'll be straining your neck for three hours trying to look around the giant metal poles that block half the field.

Awesome seats!! I'm so glad I spent $50 on this ticket and now have to drink away my misery with $7 beers all game! Great day at the ballpark.

2. The “public transportation” service known as the T stops running at 12:30, is an antiquated, notoriously slow and over-crowded metal coffin, and takes about an hour to go the equivalent of 10 stops on a NY subway. Not to mention the older lines run above ground and cause the Boston roads to function like Siberian highways:
Here's a fabulous shot of the overcrowded green line:



3. The cab drivers don’t know where they are going. Unless it is a major landmark, the majority of Boston cab drivers will ask you detailed directions to your destination and then proceed to yell at you if you don’t know how to get there. This is unacceptable; imagine if a cab driver in New York said he didn’t know how to get to a street? Can anyone picture this happening? Absolutely not.

4. As if it’s not bad enough that the driver’s don’t know where they’re going, try being stuck in the back of a Boston cab, which don’t even have enough legroom for a leprechaun, let alone my 6’5” frame.

I leave you with a quote from former mayor John Lindsay: “Not only is New York the nation's melting pot, it is also the casserole, the chafing dish and the charcoal grill.”
- Ian

And You Thought David Wells' Perfect Game Was Good...

I'd always heard rumors about a pitcher in the 70's tossing a no-hitter while tripping on acid, and thanks to the wonderful StumbleUpon.com, I have found it:

(taken from sirbacon.org)
Dock Ellis Says He Pitched 1970 No-Hitter Under The Influence of LSD

"Los Angeles, April 8, 1984- Former Pittsburgh Pirates' pitcher Dock Ellis says he was under the influence of LSD when he pitched a 1970 no-hitter against the San Diego Padres.

Ellis, now co-ordinator of an anti drug program in Los Angeles, said he didn't know until six hours before his June 12, 1970 no hitter that he was going to pitch.

"I was in Los Angeles, and the team was playing in San Diego , but I didn't know it. I had taken LSD..... I thought it was an off-day, that's how come I had it in me. I took the LSD at noon. At 1pm, his girlfriend and trip partner looked at the paper and said, "Dock, you're pitching today!"

"That's when it was $9.50 to fly to San Diego. She got me to the airport at 3:30. I got there at 4:30, and the game started at 6:05pm. It was a twi-night doubleheader.

I can only remember bits and pieces of the game. I was psyched. I had a feeling of euphoria.

I was zeroed in on the (catcher's) glove, but I didn't hit the glove too much. I remember hitting a couple of batters and the bases were loaded two or three times.

The ball was small sometimes, the ball was large sometimes, sometimes I saw the catcher, sometimes I didn't. Sometimes I tried to stare the hitter down and throw while I was looking at him. I chewed my gum until it turned to powder. They say I had about three to four fielding chances. I remember diving out of the way of a ball I thought was a line drive. I jumped, but the ball wasn't hit hard and never reached me."

The Pirates won the game, 2-0, although Ellis walked eight batters. It was the highpoint in the baseball career of one of the finer pitchers of his time, and arguably,one of the greatest achievements in the history of sports." (http://www.sirbacon.org/4membersonly/docellis.htm)

DOCK ELLIS = LEGEND.

Player Profile: Hideki Matsui

Not included in my Top 10 New York Athletes list, but certainly up there as a personal favorite is none other than Godzilla aka Hideki Matsui. The uber-professional, hard-working, porn-loving Yankee slugger that has captured the heart of both Japanese and New York fans alike.

Beginning his baseball career in Japan as a member of the vaunted Yomiuri Giants (the Yankees of Japan), Matsui led the Giants into four Japan Series and won three of them. Matsui signed with the Yanks in 2003 and to this day has continued to impress Yankee fans with his incredible dedication to baseball. However, possibly more interesting than his baseball skills is his extreme obsession with adult films, so much so that he was even a judge at a porn awards ceremony. A Time Magazine feature on Matsui describes his obsession accurately: “Matsui's only eccentricity, if it can be called that, is his extensive private library of adult videos. His refreshing ability to laugh self-deprecatingly about his porno collection, reporters say, is one reason why fans and even nonfans have taken to him so much.”

You also gotta love Matsui's wedding description - "he had married in a private ceremony in New York. His bride's name has not been announced, but it is reported that she is 25 years old and had been formerly working in a "reputable position at a highly respected company" - you gotta respect a man with a sense of privacy, especially somebody playing for the Yankees (A-Rod take some notes). She looks hot. Good job Hideki.